Wednesday, February 13, 2019

A Muslim convert, is it hard?

I was called to write this post. It's sad to know some of my fellow friends got bullied for something they are not aware of..I am sharing based on what exactly I've been through, nothing personal but a true story.

Let's start with convert to Islam.

To start with, I converted after getting married to my Muslim born husband. Many out there were told they are required to convert even when they just got engaged. Erm, I guess that was what your aunty sebelah bapa punya cousin punya anak tell you right? Ka Ketua Kampung? I wasn't a Muslim until the week to my nikah day. I wasn't a Muslim when I was engaged. Tell you ladies, if you choose to convert upon your engagement is a choice you made. Just because your partner is a Muslim, you are not obliged to convert until you are officially married. If you converts upon your engagement due to the reason you would like to learn in depth about the religion that's absolutely a great move, other than that there is no law saying you have to convert upon engagement.

A friend of mine who converted upon engagement solely because of love. The biggest decision she made and thought that would last till marriage, unfortunately it did not turn out well. She broke up with her fiance a year after their engagement. She is now with a non-Muslim bf and has doubted her decision converting to Islam when deep inside she is not ready to be one. Who's going to be responsible of her not practicing Islam now? Nobody kan, fiance yang beria-ia suruh convert suda jadi ex, ex pun cari gf lain suda lo. Love can be so blind at time, think carefully before making drastic decisions in life. Tunang saja belum lagi kawin, anything can happen, fikir-fikirkan lah jangan terlampau ikut perasaan orang bilang. And again, doubt or not there is no turning back.

What is your Muslim name?

Once people know you are a convert, they would like to know your new name. Many of us will just blindly follow the trend. Anyone who converts has a Muslim name you also follow la kan. In Malaysia, like it or not you are required to choose a Muslim name when you register at Jabatan Agama. BUT many do not aware they do not require to totally remove their original name. For example, if your original name is Tan Ceng Lok, you can choose your Muslim name as Tan Ceng Lok bin Abdullah. No need to purposely choose Adam Shamil bin Abdullah (Hi Adam..wink wink~). But if you still think Adam Shamil sounds better then go ahead la, no harm. I just wanna tell you do not feel oblige to change your name. Remember your original name was given by your parent who raise you up, who loves you first before anyone else, why remove it when your religion change? Don't, don't do that. It hurts your father who gives you a name, it hurts your mother who hugs you no matter how smelly you are. At least if you really want to have a Muslim name, try to keep your surname in your new name. Your religion and name may be changed, but not what you inherited. I believe your parent would be grateful for that little thought.

Do I change my IC after convert?

Again, it is not compulsory. Honestly I don't. I stick with my original Chinese name in my IC (so that I can go clubbing without kena rotan hahaha no lahh..!). Let me tell you why. All properties/liabilities owned will be based on the name used in your IC. I bought my first house and car with my original name and it was after I convert. So, if I change my IC to my Muslim name (even just addition of binti Abdullah), I will need to change the name in all my liabilities and please note amending name in legal documents is not free, it involves legal parties that may cost me unnecessary amount. Since it doesn't affect much so I decided to stick with my original name to make life easier. BUT I don't know if I am just a little unlucky. I have issue with my daughter's birth cert. JPN refused to issue my daughter's birth cert due to my original name in IC yet I am a Muslim in record. So, to make fuss they insisted me to redo my IC but to put "Islam" in my IC. I argued the case as I managed to get my son's birth cert with the same old IC without religion on it. The officer told me "sekarang dah tak boleh, semua converts kena ada Islam dalam IC kalau tak memang tak lepas surat beranak anak you ni." To make story short, I made a trip to the JPN during my confinement (with my muka hudu of course @#$%^&*) to redo my IC to state my religion on it but my original name remained the same. I am not sure if this is only happened in West Malaysia, but I kena lah. (Semua pasal heidi lai ni. hihi nda bah)

What is my name in Passport?

Your passport name will be following your name in IC. So my original name it is. Sometimes, I will be questioned by the immigration officer at the airport if I have converted due to my Chinese name in my passport, especially when I travel with the kids alone. They made it sounds like I am child-trafficking my own children. Haha! But that's only happened in Malaysia airport. I hardly encounter such issue abroad I bet people don't bother what your beliefs. And also, I am not allowed to be my son's guardian for his passport due to my Chinese name & no "Islam" in my IC when I applied one for him. Kesian kan, but I managed to be my daughter's guardian for her passport because by then my IC has "Islam" already. But not a big deal la, I still can take my son travels with me though I am not his guardian in passport. Who can stop me? I am his Mother Halooooo!

What is your children bangsa ah?

Ahhh good question. I am a Sino-Kadazan & my husband is Jawa-Bugis. My children are Sino-Native (Chinese mixed with more than one Sabah ethnic/tribe).  Isn't one can only choose either the race of the father or the mother? YES for certain race. For example, if an Indian married to a Kadazan or Melayu married to Chinese, you cannot write Indian-Kadazan or Chinese-Melayu because no such category in the system. You will need to choose either Indian or Kadazan or Chinese or Melayu. But if you are Chinese/Sino married to any Sabah ethnics, you can be a Sino-"______"(the tribe that you married with) or be a Sino-Native. Syok kan. If marries to Orang putih normally put Eurasian/Caucasian etc la kali kan, itu mau tanya yg kawin org putih tu sy pun x pasti.

How you manage to remove your children bin/binti ooo?

Frankly speaking, I do not remove anything from their names la. Who made up this story oo?haha they just weren't there since beginning. We're lucky enough to deal with a nice Malay officer in the Putrajaya JPN who explained to us it is not compulsory to put bin/binti/AL/AP/AK to your child's name. That's how we found out. So we decided not to put bin/binti to our children name but replaced with my Chinese surname into their names instead. Those bin/binti all has no extra benefits as Malaysia citizens, so don't worry to remove them.

Can your children open ASB account?

Yes, but with so much hassle. I think this is only happened in West cause in East it seems no issues.  AGAIN, I have problem to open my son's ASB due to my Chinese name in IC. The bank officer claimed that if the guardian has a Chinese name & they are Pribumi Sabah, the only way is to get it done in Sabah because in West they did not recognised Chinese name as Bumi bukan macam in East. I don't believe in this so I tried my luck at the PNB Head Quarters Jalan Tun Razak. With all the supporting documents, I managed to open ASB account for my son. Boooo!! For my girl, I just tried my luck at Maybank branch and I managed to get her one without any hassles. Ntah la, I think this is all depending on the officer juga la kan. Jap boleh jap tak boleh I also fed up oo.

Some even ask me in case la ko bercerai sama laki ko, will you get the child custody? (that's a bit too far babe..ermmm)

To answer this question I can only tell you what I know ok. Remember this my dear, regardless of you are newly convert or born as a Muslim you are as equal as other Muslims. There is no such thing that you are less Islam just because you are a convert as compare to those born as Muslim. We are all equal in Islam. So to answer that question, yes you are eligible for your child custody. Based on laws, children below 7 of age will be prioritised to the mother except the mother has conditions that unable her to be the child guardian. So, jangan la risau you cannot fight for your rights to get your child custody in case divorce happens, but palis-palis jauh jauh harap-harap nda la ba sampai berpisah kan. Kesian tu anak-anak, susah lagi tu bini mau cari laki baru. kikikikiki Nda ba jangan marah.

Bah suda la, just sharing k no hard feelings. Biarpun macam-macam dugaan as a convert, but I am happy with my life, I really do. Not perfect macam fairy-tales, teda la ba sampai kana bili ferrari but sorou po ada laki yang rajin pi bili telur, ingat flush jamban lepas kancing, rajin pi tapao durian sampai sy batuk-batuk (apa lagi xbagus bossku?LOL). Kalo ada yang terasa hati I am sorry, I just kesian ramai converts out there kena buli-buli for something they are not aware of, then blindly follow without questioning. Educate yourself people, ask when in doubt. X

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Brainy Bunch lousy? Betul ke?

Hey yaaa...

Few more days to a brand new year. resolution that's bullshit. I don't resolute by end of the year cause my focus is to get my year-end bonus and shopping!😂

Anyway I came across a blog today about a mom who complained about Brainy Bunch. To summarize her story, she sent her son to the center and dissatisfied with many things. As a mother who fully rely on kindergarten/daycare during my working hours, I have something to share about this.

Dear mommy,
As you mentioned in your blog, you wanted your son to be exposed with Islamic teaching since young age so you chose Brainy Bunch. After 4 months, you then think....

1. The school fee is too expensive but your child learn nothing
2.  You found out Brainy Bunch is like makan duit. Suda lagi mahal then a lot of hidden cost.
3. Go school trip also need to pay
4. The school like to cuti. Even public holiday also the school cuti
5. Extra ko-k such as Bengkel solat also need to pay
6. School held party, why ask parents bring food? No need money ke buy food?
7. School concert also need to pay for the kid's costume
8. 4 months at the school, doa makan pun tak abis

I did not send my kid to Brainy Bunch so it is not fair for me to evaluate them based on other's judgement and I do not want to judge others and I believe every parents may have different expectations. However, there are few things I think all parents need to bear in mind before enrolling their children to playschool/kindergarten especially those well-known with "pricey".

1. The school fee is too expensive but your child learn nothing.   
Yes, it is expensive but dear mommy, your son don't learn overnight. 4 months is too early to  comment about a child's progress. You maybe expecting your child to recite a-lif-ba-ta on his first    week so that it worth every penny you spent, but don't you forget he is learning to socialize and be    independent when away from you. That's also a development progress and wouldn't you think    your son and his teachers deserved an applause for both their efforts? (you don't give I give, nahhhhh) 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

2.  You then found out Brainy Bunch is like makan duit. Suda lagi mahal then a lot of hidden cost.    
 I won't deny this. No, I am not saying Brainy Bunch makan duit but it is common for most of the     well known & expensive kindergarten to have extra activities that need parents to fork out     extra money. Honestly if you are not ready for this, you will be unnecessary stressed up so better     opt for another schools. To all new parents out there, be prepared as there will definitely extra cost     that some kindergarten may not mention earlier. I don't call it hidden cost la, they are more like     optional activities cost. I don't think the center would force you to join if you don't think it is     necessary for your child.

3. Go school trip also need to pay       
Amoi, you go holiday also need to spend money right?

4. The school like to cuti. Even public holiday also the school cuti    
Teachers also employee just like you, takkan you boleh cuti on public holidays but not    the teachers kan. Teachers also need a break mah come on.

5. Extra ko-k such as Bengkel solat also need to pay    
I am pretty sure they won't force if you not keen.

6. School held party, why ask parents bring food? No need money ke buy those food?   
 Again, not sure bout Brainy Bunch but as I know ini they suggest parents to provide but tak paksa    pun. Btw, anak you makan food yg mak org provide juga kan? hehe 

7. School concert also need to pay for the kid's costume    
Once a year saja sayang, can't we see this as a sweet memory as the amount you pay not just for    the costume but food and concert CD for parents to keep.

8. 4 months at the school, doa makan pun tak abis
Anak I 1 year in Chinese school, baru pandai 5 ayat chinese. ðŸ˜

Oh I know I may sound against this mommy but please I am just sharing if you choose to enroll your child in those famous and expensive kindergarten/playschool, be prepared with the extra cost and please don't value the amount you pay with how much your child would learn. Called me a fussy mom but I have been visiting many (too many frankly) kindergarten/childcare before deciding to enroll my child to one. Maybe not the best to others, but it matches all the requirements my child needed for his development.

Lesson of the day: Do your own research and visit those center, ask questions to avoid misinterpretation. What matches your child's needs are what you should put your concern to, not glamorous and expensive fee. OK, Bye!🙈

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Implanon, yay or nay?

I know this topic maybe a little too personal to talk openly. I decided to share my experience basically to help mommies out there who plan to go for contraceptive. I personally found it was hard to find any testimonials or personal experiences on Implanon. I have been googling for quite awhile and noticed not many actually share their experience on Implanon and that made me took awhile before I decide to go for this method.

I don't think I wanna share how Implanon works as you could actually find the information about pros and cons of having Implanon done to your body. If you really read via net, you will find more negative comments than good. I would want to believe that each of us are different, our body maybe made of the same materials but how your body reacts and accept new elements might be different from individual to individual. I am not writing to tell you how good is Implanon cause this is only my first month having that small rod under my arm. I would shared my experience of getting it done and side effects do I have for the last one month.

As you know there are few types of contraceptive. One can go for normal contraceptive pills, or quarterly injections, or a hormone-free IUCD or more daring- an Implanon. Among all of these contraceptive methods, IUCD and pills are more common. Basically, all you need to know is only IUCD is hormone-free so that is the only method that has no effects to your hormones. Why I don't go for IUCD? I have read by a small chance pregnancy may happens if the device is not inserted correctly and that somehow worries me. So, to make the story short I opted for Implanon.

Today marked 1 month I get my Implanon done. So far I have no side effects other than having a little nausea few days after the rod was inserted. I am having my menstrual as usual now just that it wasn't a blood flow but rather brownish spotting. Doctor told me anyone with Implanon may have 4 possibilities on their menstrual patterns.

1. No menstrual at all for good 3 years
2. Having normal menstrual (blood flow) for 5-7 days/month
3. Having spotting for 5-10 days/month
4. Non-stop menstrual for good 3 years (need to consult doctor if this happens as the doctor will prescript medication to stop bleeding but if still not stopping, taking out the Implanon is the only solution)

Implanon is 100% safe as pregnancy won't happen by any chance. Sound syokk right? 🙈 😋
However bear in mind there are few side effects before considering one,

1. 10% body weight increase each year ( due to water retention)
2. Bad ache
3. Mood swing
4. Depression

FYI, among all contraceptive methods, Implanon is more costly for sure. So if it doesn't suit your body, it is kind of wasting money cause once taking out the rod it cannot be reused and there will be some small cost even to remove it. I did mine in PPUM under LPPKN which cost me RM515. Implanon can last for 3 years and in case in between you suddenly dream of wanting baby(babies😛) you can always remove them at any point of time. I am pretty sure it costs more if you go private. I think people in KL are quite lucky cause no queue is needed to get it done in PPUM. All you need to do is to make appointment and get it done when you still on menstrual (just to ensure you are not pregnant). Seriously, no queue needed!

The doctor will open a small hole to insect the small rod but
don't worries she/he will use an anesthetic before inserting the small rod.
She actually use the gun to shoot right to your arm, not like she take out the rod and insert.
I swear not painful at all. 
Don't be freak out with the bruises.
It is normal and this was how it looks like after 1 week.

So this is how the Implanon device looks like. This little gun contained a small 
rod that will be inserted under your arm by a Specialist (no worries).

Every individual who did an implanon will get this card to state all the information about your Implanon such as when it was inserted, the expiry date, insert on left or right hand then the card comes with serial number too. I am not sure if the rod under my arm comes with the same serial number then.

Heidi is here!


After almost a year kan..😝

Obviously year end is the only time I am a little free in office. Recruitment for international school normally will take up to 8 months for the entire process. From interview to hiring to arranging until finally settled down in Malaysia, all and all you have no air to breath as the process is on-going and emails communication as well got tougher due to time difference between countries.

Oh well, my little Heidi is turning 6 months in another couples of days and going to start solid soon. Been too busy that I did not realized Heidi now is able to sit on her own, flipping like a mermaid. How time envy us. So and so, it seems it is easier to handle the second baby perhaps due to prior experience and I would say I am more relax now compare to my first child. I kind of know what to do and what to expect and that would definitely ease so much of unnecessary worries.

I am super grateful that my second pregnancy was totally fine. No Gestational Diabetes (GD) is more than amazing since I was GD during my first pregnancy and worse as I was on high dosage of Insulin from 24weeks up to my pre-planned induced labor day. It was totally a downside when I couldn't enjoy almost everything. You know la how is it feel like when you're craving yet you are not allow to have them. That's just minor, injecting your tummy with Insulin like a drug-addict wasn't fun at all! With Heidi, I was perfectly fine. Enjoying every bite I could. Honestly, I don't actually have much craves this round not sure if it is memang I don't or maybe due to my tight routine everyday that made me lupa to crave. 😅

I have sign of delivering at week 37 when I started spotting since then. Been enjoying the hospital bed and hospital meals with cute doctors as my view (padahal balik2 kana check opening keke) for good 5 days and been spotting throughout yet no sign of labour. I then asked to be discharged to stay home waiting for the right time. The next day, took mom to pasar pagi jalan-jalan kunuk then sekali start water leaking while jalan-jalan. That was around 11am in the morning as I remembered clearly. Arrived PPUM at around 2pm, get checked and doctor confirmed it was 4cm opening so at around 3.30pm I was sent to the maternity ward waiting for the right time to deliver. I personally knew by logic from 4cm to 10cm may take few more hours or maybe days (if you're unlucky) so I didn't expect it will be that soon since I have no contraction pain yet by then. I have a tiny quality time chatting with my husband before he leave to pick up my son. I do feel mild contraction while talking to him but I guess my tolerance to pain is kinda high so I still can talk like normal without any distractions. By 5pm, I insisted my husband to pick up my son as I was thinking he might stuck in traffic when coming back to hospital to send me some food later on.

God's will. The moment he left I then had a super strong contraction pain that I couldn't stop my mouth from shouting (fuk! Ingat balik bikin malu juga oo haha). The pain was too extreme that I could barely change my position from laying to sitting. I still could clearly see the faces of those so happened in the same ward as me. Their husbands looked stunned guess they were imagining gini ka my bini nanti ni ahhh. haha! I pressed the emergency button few times and told the nurse I could feel my baby was down there so I was pushed to active room getting ready for labour. From maternity ward to labour ward I was screaming all the way, I am sorry I didn't even skip when in the lift. I think my voice saja in the lift takut orang. I swore Heidi's head already out, and it's not funny. 😓😨

Down at labour room at 6pm, not even need to push and there you go, Heidi came to the world sharp at 6.30pm on April, 13th without vagina cut, no extra devices, no epidural nothing. Now I understand what the real meaning of the term "macam kentut saja" cause seriously it feels nothing compare to Ian though Ian's time it wasn't that bad cause I delivered him in less than 1 hour too with 1 hour contraction pain only but I guess due to first timer I took time to push and did not grasp the idea of "birak besar-besar" as what the nurse asked to do hahaha!!

The epic part was the father rushing into the labour room 10 mins right after Heidi was born. And again, he missed it. Sigh 😕. Last time Ian's time he went back to bath and arrived 15mins after Ian was born. I remembered his first sentence once he met me in the labour room, "you doesn't look like you just having baby oo..look like easy, bah one more la this time I promised I won't miss it!" (You wish la laki!😠) - I mean it, A pair of beautiful children are perfect for us. Cukup, tutup kilang lah. Going to share my experience on getting the Implanon done in my next post.

So here you go, my throwback moment in labour room with little Heidi and his always-late daddy. 😴

My girl, Heidi Tan R, 
April 13th, 2017 

Do they look alike? 💓

P/S: Btw, it seems my total bill in PPUM still the same as what I paid back in 2013. RM600+ for a night stay. No price increase so far. Best semi-gov hospital, affordable & superb services. Guess now I have extra thousands to shop at Dollcake!😋

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Gov vs Private Hospital

Guess this question has never came to an end. Every time one sees you are expecting the first thing they gonna ask if not the gender then it will be which hospital are you going to deliver your baby. Pantai Hospital? (FYI, Pantai is among those expensive private hospital in KL). Oh well, I didn't know if  this is just a norm but I guess some are just too kepoh to know if you are rich enough to bear the delivery cost. LOL

I remembered when I first having my son, I got that a lot as well. But yeah those days I also blur blur first time mommy kan you know lah. When people ask me I normally ask them back which hospitals has good services and reasonable price. All and all, most of them preferred private hospitals rather than government basically with one common reason, government hospitals are lousy, sucks and scary.

3 years ago, private hospitals may ranged averagely from RM3.5k-5k for natural birth and double the price or more for C-Sec depending on hospitals. That's not inclusive of other charges such as Epidural, pain-killer, baby suction etc. That was 3 years ago not sure now. Honestly, I found that is too pricey. I could recalled one of my friend was once said, "Not like you cannot afford what, your husband so rich (rich? millionaire you mean? hehe)". Guess regardless your husband can afford or not, no harm to ease their burden. They also working hard to earn, don't they? Kesian them also ba kan...

Ermm.. I have totally different view after experiencing gov hospital (Jangan kecam saya! LOL). I can't deny I do feel a little hesitate when it comes to government hospitals. With all the horrible stories, of course I feel uneasy as well but despite those bad stories not many actually mention about the good sides of them. Gov has the best range of medications and their baby injections are one of the best, lagi best when it is FOC (kan? Scored!). Go check in private how much in total all the necessary baby injections up to 18months if you don't believe, it may costs you thousands for those mandatory injections. Why not use that money to give your child extra injections such as pneumococcal or rotavirus which are not covered under gov scheme?  I actually had my monthly baby review at a private clinic for my entire pregnancy and the Doctor told me my pregnancy is perfectly fine and baby is in great position, I shouldn't have any problems to deliver naturally. So she suggested me to give a try with PPUM since now they have semi-government wing for maternity/delivery when she herself actually a Gyne in Pantai. Told me not to waste my money for private when not necessary and better use the money for something else especially for the newborn. So, I listened to her advice and give it a try with PPUM. True enough, since they are now semi-government the facilities and services are marvelous. For maternity, they only have standard room with 4 beds with attached toilet in each ward. My husband tried to get a single room but it seems single room only reserved for government servants. But that's ok everything seems brand new since they have just done renovation upon my admission. Back in 2013, my total bill for a natural delivery was RM600+ (1 night stay). Since gov going to increase 50% on medical fee, I am predicting it may goes up maximum around RM1000 only lah (Still cheaper right?). The only thing you cannot request in PPUM is that your husband cannot be in the labor room with you. Since my husband memang penakut (keke) so I don't need this facility then. Scared he might get fainted before me. Wakekeke If you prefer you husband to be in the labor room with you, I think Putrajaya Hospital and Selayang Hospital may be allowed.

I am glad everything goes well when I delivered Ian and even greater I can use the extra thousands that I supposed to spend on baby delivery to his early childhood education. This is the thing, when people know I spend RM1k+ for my son's monthly pre-school fee, many think I am crazy and super kiasu. Many said "He is just 2! Why spend so much on pre-school?! Now I tell you I even pay a high price for my son's babysitter before he goes to school. Crazy? (Yes, I am). I am not like some have their mother/ mother in law/sister/aunty etc who can help to look after their child for free. If you understand what living in the city without relatives means, I pay good price for a peace of mind (Get me?). Come on la, you can spend a bank for delivery, why bother when others choose to spend their money on their child aftercare? Chill lah..

I can see many willing to spend on baby delivery but when the child is ready for nursery/pre-school/enrichment program they suddenly become stingy and started to complain everything is expensive. Indeed, nothing is cheap nowadays we all know that. When you choose to go private hospitals also not cheap mah. Same thing to private schools. If I am kiasu, what are you? (Nah..angry already :D).

If you still don't know where to dump your money, go get your child covers with medical insurance. Or maybe upgrade yourself to an insurance that covers complications during pregnancy. For those unaware about unborn insurance, check out Prudential. They have PRUmy child for your unborn/child (Infant care provides protection during the crucial prenatal, neonatal and post-natal periods)  and PRUlady that covers wide range of women-related illnesses.

Conclusion is, no matter you delivery your child in private or government both also painful right? Both also got scar, both also got cut (Org kampung bilang naragas juga. Wakekeke)

Bah, Happy Midweek lah nothing serious here. LOL

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Too early for school?


2 years for one post. Come on Jesse! LOL

Oh well, 2 years has gone. My baby boy Ian is no longer a baby, he is now 3 and has becoming mommy's chatty buddy since he started talking few months back. Expecting my second baby now, life has changed a little drastic as I am (we are) not prepared for another one for the thought that we might only have the one and only Ian boy. Oh don't get me wrong, despite of horrible morning sickness this time around I am super duper happy with our new arrival. Up till now, we still couldn't believe God has granted us another child as we have problem to conceive my first one and Doctor has confirmed the chances are low for another baby. But yeah, God is great!

While enjoying my second trimester now, I suddenly thinking to write about Ian's learning progress. Ian was with his nanny ever since he was 4 months to about 2 years old. I couldn't be more than thankful that I found a nice and super loving nanny for my little boy. Ian has grown up happy and healthy under her care and best part is the nanny could only converse in Chinese so by no choice Ian picked up the language from her and able to understand well.

As I noticed Ian was a little shy and speak very little words, I have made a huge decision to enroll him to pre-school so that he is able to socialize and learn more stuffs. I know switching him from a one-to-one nanny to pre-school means I need to be ready for frequent common sickness such as flu, cough etc. True enough, Ian has been getting flu & cough quite frequent in school as compare to those days when he was with his nanny. But that's just minor actually, that's eventually helps to build his immune system. What impressed me was his amazing development after he started pre-school at the age of  2.

Here are few reasons why you should enroll your child to playschool as young as possible:

1. Better social skill

Since baby, Ian showed hesitation when anyone trying to get close to him. He will either cry out loud or just ran away whenever you try to approach him. This is cool when with strangers but not when with our family members or friends. After putting him in pre-school, he has better social skill. I could see he is improving as he is now mixing well with other children while playing. To me,willing to give a goodbye hug to our family members and friends is a great improvement.

2. Impressive vocabulary

For this, I am pretty sure it happened by many factors besides school. We allowed him to watch channels in Youtube such as hi5, Ryan's toy review, how's stuff works, nursery rhymes and of course Power Rangers (why not?LOL) for 2 hours a day after school. I noticed him started to pick up and use some of the words from what he watched yet unable to form sentences with those. At the same time, he is learning many different things at school and that's where those jargon came from. He know when to use the right sentences for different situations which sometimes can be very funny for a 3 year old to say "Oh come on.." when his dad keep asking him to look at the 3D image of his baby sibling. haha!

3. Perfect grammar

This part may not be my main focus but I noticed Ian is grammatically correct whenever he tries to make sentences. Besides knowing 'is', 'are', 'was' etc, he knows when to use single and plural, when to add "-ing' to verb and when to use just the verb according to the right sentences. The school's medium is English but I do believe the teachers may have used proper English when communicate to their students. Frankly, I personally think it is important for parents to speak proper language to their children. We always try to speak proper English without slang, same as when I speak in Chinese unless it is Sabah mother tongue then I can't help much lah. :D

4. Show great interests in learning

Since born, I have tried to practice flashcards with Ian but due to time constrain (good excuse mommy) I was not consistent. So as Ian growing, he doesn't seems to show much interest to flashcards and reading. I didn't enforced much since I want him to grow up to what he enjoy doing. However, thing slowly changed after he started attending school. He will take those untouched cards and books to me or the daddy to read for him. And now, he could read and named all of them confidently!

5. Better daily routine

After school, Ian will be in daycare until I pick him up after work. As the children will be staying whole day the school has provided 3 meals for breakfast, lunch & tea break. Ian is a fussy eater. If he doesn't take candy, no ice-cream, no carbonated drinks what makes you think he will consider vegetables. Obviously he won't but that won't happen in school. His teacher said he eats whatever given to him without complain. Magic right? I tried to include vegetables and fruits to his meal but it doesn't works. Since he is eating healthy meals during school time everyday so I am a little lenient when it comes to dinner. At daycare, children are disciplined to take their afternoon nap so that helped a lot during the weekends as Ian knows the napping routine so no need to shout your lungs out to put him to sleep. keke

All and all, to put your child early to school is all up to your decision as parents. No need to follow trend lah, you know what best for your child. Every child is different, some learn fast some a little lesser. However, selecting a good school is very important as that would eventually mold your child's character. I planned to send Ian to a full Chinese medium kindergarten by 2018 for the preparation of his enrollment to Chinese primary school.

Sound KIASU? Yes I am a KIASU mommy and I am happy being a KIASU mommy! :P :P :P

Btw, Ian is attending Baby Atelier Pre School & Nursery.
For more information, check out their website at


Friday, November 7, 2014

Does a bitch really taste that good?

Gloomy day, received a call from someone I knew for long today. From far I could sensed she is in trouble. Yet I didn't want to make such conclusion too fast, I maybe wrong. But true enough,  a painful cry from the other end, hoping for a helping hand. I guess I am a good mind reader.

To my dear friend, I am sorry for what you have been through. Maybe you are right, no man is a right man, no marriage is perfect with just romance. It required more than just sex and love.

To all men in the world, open your heart, listen to this voice, it came deep down from your humble wives.

Could there still be a delicate soul hiding behind the facade of a man who gone wild and wrong? What is the real face beneath the mask of defiance that you dons?

At the moment you enjoy hugging another woman tight to your chest, you wife is stuck home with the kids worrying if you have had your meals or will you safely home. At that very moment when she calls you she actually already know something is not right but she choose to trust you. When you reaches home, she shows no qualms but a smile, yet you never appreciate.

Dear men, when a woman has decided to leave their family to be with you, they have actually gave up most of the good things they used to have in life.  Your wife harbours a down to earth dream of settling down with the right person. Yes define them the way you think it is, you maybe capable to give her a better life in your own definition but better life is not by getting her more branded bags or taking her to a luxury dinner. A good wife do not want all that from you. It's the honesty and trust that what they long for.

No woman is blind enough to ignore a blatant lie. At that very moment you open up for another woman, that is the beginning of a betrayal. The time you basks in your risque actions, holding other woman's hand without guilty, you have actually made a choice to made it tough. Your wife is paying high price for a strong person she could. The curve on her face is made for you, with yearnings for sure.

Dear friend, I tell you to let go and forgive. Take it as lesson and again, it's a choice you can make. Listen to your heart. The little ones you are bearing now is the reason you are here today. Stay strong, have faith my dear friend. 

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