Weird huh? Why when the chinese or the Indian go with Amor or Nigro nobody will make huu haa ah?!I hope I didn't sound so racist, if yes I would be the last person to be said as a racist, as I myself married to a Malay and happy with my choice..♥
Whenever a chinese girl go with a malay guy, the entire world seems looking at two aliens holding hands.(Not that bad actually, at least you feels like a not-so-famous artist at whatever streets you passes-by.haha) I remembered when I was in high school, one aunt told me "you can go with any guy, whatever guys, but definitely not the Bajau." Well what she meant is don't go with the Muslim, right aunty?:) What's wrong with that anyway? Isn't that so racist? I don’t call certain someone racist but without proper understanding on certain topics, people will tend to have a wrong perception of certain something.
Yes again..what makes the chinese or other races get so paranoid? The problem is not really with the Malays but rather with Islam. As what we aware of, the Malaysia Marriage laws are kinda strict, and the non muslims would have to submit to the Muslim according to Islamic marriage laws. If we were to compare, the intermarry is easily done in other countries, but not Malaysia.
As a half-blooded Chinese, I understand what makes the Chinese feels so scared of letting their children to marry a Muslim. First, they thought their children is not allowed to eat same table with them anymore since the food is not halal. Yes, indeed there will be changes in the lifestyle, but not dramatically as they think. Relax..It's not as bad as you think people. Islam is a beautiful religion. Convert to Islam doesn't mean you become Malays. Islam is not equal to Malays. No such thing as you must wear baju kurung or totally lost your identity as Chinese or your original race after convert. You'll always be the same, just the belief is now different and need to be a extra careful with the food we choose. Yes to cover "Aurat" is compulsory but there is no force in Islam. The religion itself can't force one if you are not ready for it. The day will come when your "Hidayah" is there. Take it easy, learn it slowly. Islam is a universal religion, no matter who you are, the Arabs, Malays, Indonesians, Chinese, Indian (anyone, anybody) can believe in the same faith, which is Allah SWT. I know sometimes there'll be misleading in religion, just like how I was forced to change my name to "so called" Muslim name as the staff said "JESSENIA" is not a Muslim name, just because he never heard the name before. It was sad a new come like me being forced for something that I am clearly know I am at the right side. The staff even says " If you suka sangat nama ni, you letak la. Kita tak tanggung if ada apa-apa problem in future." :(
Share with you next time how I was treated when I was asked to wear tudung before taking photo for my Muslim card. Don't get me wrong ya. I don't hate the Malays. Never! I am married to one lei..! And I am proud to have one..♥
Ok back to the story....
I believe many out there might be facing the same problem. With my 10 years relationship with a Muslim guy, I am definitely say "GO FOR YOUR LOVE, PEOPLE!!" but remember never hurt. Yes it is ok for us, but for our parents its an entirely different story. No matter how big is the firewall, do not hurt their feelings. Seek for their blessings and approval. Try to talk nicely and prove to them that not all Malays are bad. (Sound like Chinese/Indian/Kadazan/other races are all very good huh..Don't like that la aunty..bad people whatever race also got mah...) I think it is up to us to change their stereotype because Malay or not, we are still human. Nothing should stop one from falling in love, not to mention religion.
End of the day, the power of love still lies in your hands. You need to rationalize the situation and think if its worth it. Make a decision that you won't regret. I know this is going to be a tough decision. Stay strong, stay with your love. That's your fate!
Check out the MV below! Love it as that's what I has been through since I choose him to be part of my life! Enjoy~
Tell u what girl...this entry kasi kambang bulu roma sy!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, regardless what race u are...we uphold the same faith towards the only Allah SWT.
Sy annoyed sma org yg trip alim tapi actually kasi malu tu agama lagi adalah!
You know why I have the urge to write about it right, Bie...cause it is so sad. Many out there just remain quiet for whatever things they face after they being a new comer. Why? Cause no one listen to us. What we get is only unpleasant comments/words from people around. It's not easy. That's why I tell many friends out there, You may choose to be with a Muslim, but if you are not strong enough, better just forget about it! Cause the pressure you might face is not as simple as one may think.
ReplyDeletei do LOVE ur entry..wish n pray the best for u Jesse!! :D
ReplyDeletehye jesse. you know what, your story is a lil bit like mine. I am malay and my boyfriend is a chinese. we are 22. we have been together for 4 years since high school . yes, there are a many challenges in our relationship especially from our parents.
ReplyDeletehe loves to talk about our future. I know he is very serious about us. now he taking a baby step to learn about Islam. I really hope that we are meant to be together and get married someday like you and your husband :) .
I support you Jesse same goes to your husband..
ReplyDeleteIdylela Maya: Thanks girl..:)
ReplyDeleteAfifah Alyahya: From your profile pic, you are such a sweet lady! Anway, all in all let's faith lead the way, insyaallah if jodoh tak ke mana right? :) but remember whatever it is, both of u need to be strong. I am in 11 years relationship with my husband before we finally get hitched. I have taken so long to slowly convinced my family & friends but it worth it. I am happy with my marriage now & looking forward for our little ones soon! :)
ReplyDeleteHakim Aziz: Thanks Hakim..:)
ReplyDeletehehe. .now I'm couple with a malay guy.
ReplyDeletebut I still yet tell my parents. afraid they can't accept it.
hehe..now I'm also dating with a malay guy. but my family yet don know. don know how to tell them . afraid they cant accept and object of our relationship.
ReplyDeleteHey, what an awesome post you got here. Even me myself have a chinese gf :) If you anything more to share about interracial marriage/life style that would be great :)
ReplyDeleteyeewon: Take your time then..not just your concern to your family, but also whether his family can accept you or not. I've always being myself whenever i am with my in laws family. I respect them as my family, but I do speak out my mind whenever I feel it is necessary. I did that all because I see them as my own family, I want the best for everyone. The key word is JUST BE YOURSELF! :)
ReplyDeleteHarris: Oh I were to share I don't think I have enough page to write oo..haha all i can say is challenging yet worth la..Cause you did that all because of the name of Love..:)
ReplyDeletemy bf have discuss with his family, so far they can accept,but still yet meet their father due to distance.i'm at jb, his family at penang.
ReplyDeletehowever, now my father start control where i'm going..also warming i cant contact with him..if still continuing with him, my father will throw me out of the house. my parent to his impression is not good.their view is he want to cheating me. but in fact, not so.until now i hard to explain to them regarding our relationship as well as don know how can let them accept.
Yeewon: Just follow the flow then..remember do not hurt..whatever it is, your parent should come first, try your best to convince them that he is not as they think..but of course this is all about time..gv them some time to accept the fact..a relationship wouldn't be happy without our parent's blessings..:)
ReplyDeletei do loved your entry seriously..i used to ada girlfriend who is chinese. we broke up (last 2 years) since her father hate me as malay so much. he believes that i will bring bad luck to his daughter and his family just because im muslim. hmm.
ReplyDeleteermm..eL, is not uncommon for non muslim to not liking he muslims. for whatever reasons, we all have to believe love do not know colors, it is blind. believe in your fate. I always think whatever belongs to you will always come back to you. Cheer up k..:)
ReplyDeleteI really love ur entry on this... M having the same scenario now and the worst part is i have a very hard time as my family are totAlly againstme for dating muslims.... Dont really know how to come clean with them bout this? I would love to bring him to meet my dad but i just dont know where to start.....
ReplyDeleteintro to ur dad as she is just a friend..do not mention too much..see his response 1st then u'll know how to move on..:)
ReplyDeletehey,i'm a chinese guy that has a malay gf and her family accepted me, but the problem is my family,they dont acccept her..what should i do? my family hate islam so much,it is hard to convince them bout islam though,my own brother converted to islam and my family disown him. it is so hard for me though.
ReplyDeletejoe lee: nothing particular you should do..just be yourself. We can't change one's faith overnight, so do your family. I am lucky as my family is quite open minded & able to accept my husband. However, nothing comes easy in this world. I also took some time to really convince them that he is different from other Muslims. After time goes by, they were able to accept him. So, just go with your fate, do need to push the situation. Take it easy. I know it is hard to choose between family & your life partner, but again they are not a choice but both should belongs to you. Stay strong ok! :)
ReplyDeletei am sure if times goes by, nothing will convince my parents..they said.."either leave us(family) or go to your partner".haiz...
ReplyDeletejoe lee: just go with your fate..Guess am lucky to have such an understanding family..Believe in your fate then..the best id to keep both but yeah sometimes we gt to make a big decision in our life in order for us to move on..:)
ReplyDeletethanks jesse ~ haiz....
ReplyDeleteJeese Tan .. you are good advisor and very kind person. May Allah Bless U.Hopefully u can teach them to the best way in islam.
ReplyDeletecongratulation... i also fall in love with a Malay guy. He is my college. Unfortunately he already married at last year... I love him since before he get married and i not dare to say out my love as he already has tunang at that time. But at Oct 2013, he told me that he love me and he query that why i dint tell him earlier that i love him also. Now...we have been together and i know this is wrong but i cant control my feeling. If.....if i tell him earlier maybe the situation will be different now.
ReplyDeletei like..but still,i cant marry her..coz of her mother..sad..very sad..already taken mandarin class,work hard..but still,sad..its ok..try again..:) thx though for the story..
ReplyDeleteGo fuck urself..ur more a loser n racists. ..if ur so good why not marry indian or other...why must b malay...u sabahans are all weak in Christianity and juz get fond of malay and the bumiputera benefits. .marrying malay is just like marrying a bunch of losers
ReplyDeleteJesse I like your story
ReplyDeleteJesse I like your story . everything what you say is right.
ReplyDeleteJesse can I seek some advise from you.
ReplyDeleteJesse like your post
ReplyDeleteLike your post jesse
ReplyDeleteJesse need some advice . How can I talk or chat with you lo^^. Really need some advice.
ReplyDeletei'm malay & my bf is a chinese. sometimes it's hard to understands him. but no matter what i'm try. i do love him. but i'm scare if my family can't accept him. & i also worry if his family don't like me bcs i am muslim. :(
ReplyDeleteHi jesse.i'm malay girl.
ReplyDeleteI fall in love with a chinese guy.
We r from the same college.
I'm shy girl.i don't even have courage to let him know my feelings.
I'm afraid to get rejected.what if he thinks i'm weird..
I only know his name.
What do u think i should do?
I want him to be a muslim.because i love him..
What i want is for him to be a muslim..thats all.but im not even his friend.im just his classmates.
Please help me..
Dear Fany, I am sorry if am being a little skeptical about your thought. By wishing him to be a Muslim is already a pressure to him. Personally I think for one to convert is not just for love, it should comes from deep inside their hearts. I guess all I can say is you have to make a move to make friend with him then you will know how far can the relationship goes. Just relax, be friend. That's all you need now. :)
ReplyDeleteJessy, one chinese girl at my new office love me but not tell me directly but thru my fren and i don't know why she suddenly falling in love with me. I'm don't know her before and same with her don't know me before. I'm in dilemma to reply her love because we are different race, religion and culture. I'm afraid that their family will not accept me because of this. Fyi I'm is a malay guy. Whats your oppinion?
ReplyDeleteHi Emperor, oh come on. It's all up to you man! Listen to your heart. What most important is what you feel not others. No point to return love to someone that you don't actually love. I guess you are unsure with your heart right? I guess no harm trying, nvr try nvr know. Who knows it works wonder and you guys may get along well lei? All the best man!
Deletesame like me lol..i dont know if my partner is chinese guy.im so worried coz my mother is xiong guo ren n my father is malaiyur ren.they separated when i infant.now i must have to face my faith coz some chinese guy really like me.i think i cant run of this kind
ReplyDeletejust go for it man !!! my mother is a convert to Islam..she was thrown away by her family for about 1 to 2 years after she married my father but overtime, once her family know how serious is the love between my father and mother, they might change their mind. just go for it if u love her too. just because different race, religion and culture it doesn't matter. that's why there is LOVE(as in the video), so that we can unite :D good luck !!
ReplyDeletewish me luck too, i'm dusun and i don't know but most of the time it's much easier for me to connect with a chinese girl compared to other races. maybe its because my face that look like a filipino ? i dont know but i'm grateful for the things He has given me
nah tu dia..all the best Jabri. To who you be with in future, as you said they has nothing to do with any other things but LOVE. but normally orang kita is easier to accept and adapt bah. If di peninsular, mcm susah betul mau trima if kawin islam.
Deletesory to ask this . I never actualy get close to any chinese girl so idk how to
ReplyDeleteeven make friends with one .any tips?
Any tips to make friends with chinese girls .cuz i never hv a chinese friends T-T .got, but not close
ReplyDeletehai jessy tan. ko org sabah pula kn.. sya sni seja area tenghilan.. sya tertarik dgn ko ckp ni.. mmg bgitu la tu, knpa jga bnyk hlngan kn. ummmmm
ReplyDeleteorg sabah ni bnyk cmpuran bh kn jess.. kdng2 mcm sya suka dusun and sma2 suka dh tpi hlngan kluarga. fmily sya okay cuma org sblah prmpuan yg ada mslah.. tu seja la komunikasi ada prob.. btw, sya org tenghilan ^^~
ReplyDeleteim chinese and fall in love with mix girl(parent is malay+chinese).im so sad we cant be together.
ReplyDeletereally Love your story.. made me be confident! Me, as a malay girl really into chinese man. Sy doakan you bahagiaa with your loves one .. doakan sy juga yee 😍
ReplyDeleteInsha Allah, Allah loves those never give up. Sentiasa doakan yg baik-baik saja. :)
DeleteIm a mix boy.. My mom is a chinese n my father is a malay. There is no any problem between them n they loving each other until now. I also wondering, my future gf will b a chinese girl. I want to marry her n be my soal mate forever. But majority of the chinese girl now was so sombong huhu..
ReplyDeletehaha go sabah or sarawak, the chinese there less sombong and pretty somemore! Joking laa~ :D
DeleteHi,I'm kinda in a relationship with a Chinese girl.she says she loves me but she's afraid her parents would not approve of our relationship.she also believe in her faith and doesn't want to convert.we are currently dating but she's worried that there won't be a future between us.any advice?
ReplyDeleteI am malay guy but if i date(yes,actually I like chinese girl than malay girl) with chinese girl I promise that I will NOT ASK her to learn and convert to islam, but I will ask her to STAY in her buddhism faith. But if I want to marry with chinese girl I will make sure that I and my chinese girlfriend migrate to another country like US, Canada due to Malaysian Marriage Law that require a non muslim convert to islam if want to marry with muslim. I hope more chinese girls read my comment here. Coz I am Open-minded Malay not Close-minded malay.ONCE AGAIN I hope more chinese girls read my comment here.
ReplyDeleteYou're so cool man.
Delete-A Chinese girl
Im half chinese and grew up in environment of malay culture. I used to have many malay friends yet i do get along with chinese friends as well (i dont speak mandarin) until one day, i fallen in love with this cutie chinese girl. I dont know how to approach her and i dont know whether she likes me or not. Would you like to share with me of how to tackle chinese girl ? From your opinion, are there many chinese girls do like malay guys?
ReplyDeleteI have tis experince too, with a divorcee chinese guy and im malay girl. He’s tall,handsome and genius, but sometimes his skeptikalisme towards our future surpass his love. So sad. Nvm i forgive him. I will wait for him until he ready.
ReplyDelete